Warnings for Only Lovers Left Alive: death, blood, some nudity, cursing I think, suicidal thoughts, and soft vampirism
Director: Jim Jarmusch
Hey kids... you wanna know a great movie about vampires, weird but strangely appealing music, and Tom Hiddleston once again playing a total emo I can't help but fall in love with even though I don't even like guys (plus Tilda Swindon is an absolute babe and I would Die for her)? Only Lovers Left Alive was thoroughly appealing in all of these categories.
It opened on one weird as hell into and if I'm honest, it didn't loop me in then; but looking back, it was a really cool choice and if I watched it again I think I would like it a lot more. Similarly, all the music kind of threw me off at first, but going back, it totally fits the aura of the movie and I wouldn't mind hearing it again.
So, as a person, I admire vampires. I think they're cool and I honestly wouldn't mind the lifestyle vampirism praises: you know, staying up all night, never going out in the sun, staying away from silver and feasting on human blood, that sort of thing- hey look at that, I'm halfway there already! Anyways, this movie is a total dive of life for two vampires and a couple others as well and it tells a story about how these immortals would choose to live if they were alive now. It's a gorgeous film and character heavy, which is absolutely My Shit. I love character development, especially when it involves Tom Hiddleston in any way. The way the two main characters were portrayed was stunning and I was attached to them both instantly. I also adored seeing Anton on screen again, my absolute son. God I miss that boy. And the way they made me hate the sister was very well done. That woman was so annoying. Poor Anton.
So yeah, Only Lovers Left Alive was totally worth the watch and I loved all the colours and the script was amazing and all that. Definitely recommend.
Warnings for Only Lovers Left Alive: death, blood, some nudity, cursing I think, suicidal thoughts, and soft vampirism
There is so much to say about this film, I hardly know where to start. I suppose the beginning is never a bad idea, so... here goes.
It starts out familiar, with a shot of Kirk looking very Shatner-esque (especially with the little "tore my shirt again" line in there) trying to make peace with a very stubborn race of weird frog-turtle things. Upon watching Beyond again, I noticed that in their little colosseum thing they have this ramp going down from the top where the leader sits and it arcs up at the end like a half pipe and given their affinity for rolling as a species, it can be assumed that they built that little ramp specifically so their leader can roll on down to look a fraction more intimidating before taking attack position. I find that hilarious. I also loved the tracking shot of Kirk making his way down the hall with Bones and Spock in step behind him, Bones with tricorder in hand and all. It was such an adorable little nod to the triumvirate, which was beautifully highlighted in this movie much more than the first two (thank god). Truly, Beyond is a blessing to us all.
Speaking of nods to the original series, Spock Prime's picture of the old crew at the very end? KILL ME. Honestly just run me over, it would be less painful than that shot with the original theme on one little trumpet in the back oh god here come the tears.
Okay we back from that- anyways, where was I? Hm, how about Idris Elba? Can't go wrong with a good Idris Elba, tbh. So, Krall is such a flat villain that even flat earthers are shook by this competition. I mean yeah, he has a sad backstory, he was left on a planet and now he's pissed at the Federation and wants revenge and I get it, he's just a bad guy there to give the heroes something to fight but would it KILL them to give him a little extra motive other than he hates peace because he doesn't get it? Like? Too realistic.
Also, where in the Absolute Hell did he get his army???? Were they already there? If so, why are they listening to him? Were they the last of his original crew? If so, how were there so many? And how did they get such advanced ships going to make the swarm? That's A LOT of ships, like, at least 12. And while we're on the subject of Krall's Bees, WHY did they spontaneously combust at the end? Were they so completely blown away by ~classical music~ that they literally exploded out of sheer respect? Did one dude hate it so much that he self-destructed his ship so as not to hear it anymore and then set off a chain reaction? Was there some half-*ssed techno-babble line thrown in there to explain that they would all explode? Likely. In any case, it looked cool, and when it comes to sci-fi made for the purpose of entertainment, that's all that matters. I can't complain.
There is one shot that I can't live with. I hate it So Much, it makes me cringe inwardly (and sometimes outwardly) literally every time I watch it. Near the end, which Jaylah is fighting Mannis or whatever in that little mushroom thing, Mannis throws her on the ground and he's all hunched over and then there's this very obvious cut to him standing and staring down at her without having moved in the previous shot and it just looks SO BAD. And then he just delivers his Bad Guy Line in his language like "you'll die like your father" and what does Jaylah say? How does my daughter reply?
Me too girl. I love her. I love her so much.
Okay, I've picked out about everything negative I can from this film. I hope you're proud, Mr. H. Anyways, can I talk about the score for a minute? Cause I'm gonna. Time to freak out over some pro non-diegesis, as one does. Michael Giacchino is a God Among Men and his music is AMAZING and NO I am not BIASED shut up SHARON. He did all three of these AND Rogue One AND like tons of other great stuff. Night on the Yorktown, literally my fav forever. Thank Your Lucky Stardate will be in my heart forever. All of it is so pretty... okay, but where did Sledgehammer come from? Don't get me wrong, I love Rihanna as much as the next and it is a great, powerful song, but like? Why? What made them go "let's blow a quarter of our budget on a main stream song that we use only in the credits and has barely anything to do with the film?" Literally, none of the previous movies ever used songs like Sledgehammer in their movies. I don't understand, Rihanna.
Okay, I'm done roasting my favourite movie now, I promise. How amazing is the writing for this one? Simon Pegg is my favourite forever. He finally made a Star Trek reboot film that isn't just about Kirk and Spock. Yes, they're essential, but so is everyone else in the crew. They all have iconic lines and important shots (SULU!!!! YES SULU YOU GO REPRESENTING US GAYS OUT THERE IN SPACE!!! YOU GO!!!!) and they all serve a purpose in saving the universe. It shows that there is strength in unity, a theme in the film, and it highlights on the way it used to be written in the original six movies (especially Voyage Home). And don't even get me started on his amazing use of humour. Spock's tracking device? I laugh literally every time, and not because I'm biased (I swear).
So, I could go on for another few hours on every little detail of this film and give a full five paragraph essay on literally every individual shot, but sadly, it is already 11:25 PM and I have to sleep so I'm not completely dead inside for school tomorrow. Two and a half more days of school left. Can I make it before dropping out? We'll see.
In other news, this is my last graded film post ever after two years of (almost) consistent weekly posting. Don't be sad, though. After this, everything will not be for a grade. After this, I get to say ~whatever I want~ so hold onto your hats kids lmao. See you in college! Second star to the right, straight on till morning.
Warnings for Star Trek: Beyond: In Loving Memory of Leonard Nimoy. For Anton.
Thanks for making me love movies like I used to when I was little. Thanks to your class(es), I became a much smarter person, a better writer, and most importantly I understand so many more pop culture references than when I started and that is truly the greatest gift. Thank you for putting up with me bothering the Film I class, calling you Tim behind your back, and turning in reviews late more often than not. I don't think an October will pass by without my watching a Vertigo or Rope, nor a heavy rainfall without at least one thought of Rashomon. I hope you realise that I will be haunting your future film classes for the rest of my life like a ghost, judging you for not having made it to Wong Kar-wai yet. Anyways, basically, thanks for helping me remember how much I love movies. Maybe I'll write one someday, maybe I won't, but one thing is for certain; I will always adore them. So uh... Kirk out, I guess.
Your Fav Student (obviously),
This was a very... peculiar film. Very good, very intriguing, but strange. The film style was very unique, almost surreal in some places especially paired with the weird music. I enjoyed watching it, and in any case, I had a good time observing the film style of Sally Potter for my film class. This a seriously posh movie only for the most artsy of film viewers, but I was able to follow along and enjoy it alright. It was very cyclical, surprising, amusing, and fun. I feel like I may have even grown as a person a little bit after seeing this. It certainly was a very important feminist film.
Potter makes some very obvious stylistic choices throughout the movie that I noticed. She uses a ton of smash cuts; like, a ton. I jumped more than once just by the suddenness. The whole movie seemed to be tinted white; there was hardly a dark moment. The screen was always very bright, whether it was in the desert or the freezing cold. It was always like the brightness was turned up to one hundred. I also noticed a lot of devotion to sound and close attention to the sounds of objects/props. It was very obvious, and almost annoying if you paid close attention. All the characters were very real and the actors very good at their roles. Everyone felt fully like themselves. I was very convinced by the acting.
I laughed at the most unexpected times; when Orlando suddenly looks right at the camera and breaks the fourth wall in the wackiest way, when those man went to get more and more men in an effort to wake him up, when he wakes only to whine about women in his emo poety way; this movie surprised me by how entertaining it ended up being.
I loved the way Tilda Swindon was cast as a man, and the character changed over time to be a woman (or something like that, it was hard to tell), same person different sex and all. Her acting was very good; she played a man like a man, so much so that I forgot that the actor was female, and changed very well to play the female Orlando (or rather, Orlando with boobs), differently to be feminine but not a different character entirely. It was a lot of fun to watch this movie go on in confusion until the end, when it all was beautifully revealed. It ended with Death and ended with Birth in a beautiful, backwards cycle. I could really feel the feminist ideas Sally Potter was known for, about women's hardships and the selfishness of men and how they don't really do anything right, and how man and women aren't all that different and yet women are still treated more poorly. I loved this film, and I definitely plan on watching it again. Man, am I glad I decided to impulse watch this.
Warnings for Orlando: some nudity, some weird stuff and a few unintentional death scares
I was actually really impressed by this movie! I had heard a lot beforehand because basically everyone saw it before me. It's been out for awhile and I only now got to see it, and I was impressed even beyond what everybody said. My expectations were pretty high, and I loved it!
Not much can be said for the technical stuff. The camerawork was pretty basic and save for Karen Gillan's one awesome motorcycle-flying-kick-thing, the special effects weren't amazing. The music was also fine but nothing spectacular. I enjoyed this movie thoroughly, but solely for the acting and the plot. It was basic, but hilarious and enticing. I was never bored.
I loved the acting! The cast was INCREDIBLE for this movie and all of them did amazing in their roles. It was so funny to see the Rock playing such a nerd and being so sad to lose his own body at the end and for Kevin Hart to try to act all tough when he's so tiny. Jack Black did an amazing job of appearing feminine but not so much so that it's stupid. The whole relationship between Jack Black and Karen Gillan was incredible because it portrayed a very real friendship of support instead of jealousy. I loved to see that done for once. Also, Nick Jonas? Amazing. I did not see that coming. I adored the jab at how there's only ever one female playable character in these video games and how they always dress in skimpy clothes. I loved how Ruby Roundhouse did dance fighting though (even though it was really just fighting with music in the background). The part with the snakes was amazing. Everything was done in an amazing way to make it funny. As an avid video game player, I thought the way the NPCs were written was HILARIOUS, especially Rhys Darby. I loved this movie! It was so funny!
So yep, that's about it! It sure wasn't an art film by any means, but I was thoroughly entertained! I recommend seeing it, you'll laugh a lot.
Warnings for Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle: Some death, a little blood, some cursing, nothing too big
P.S. THE KISS SCENE? I DIED. THAT WAS SO REAL I FEEL LIKE PERSONALLY ATTACKED.
SPOILERS! DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.
So first, let me open by saying this was an amazing movie. They banded together like 60 main characters and in a span of two and a half hours managed to build a full, functional plot AND give every single character a chance to shine. That's amazing! I got to see moments with every character; I especially loved their use of music to establish the Guardians of the Galaxy's entrance before everyone knew it, and the theme of Wakanda so we knew Black Panther was coming. I especially loved the use of the original Avengers theme when Cap showed up to save Vision and Wanda. That was one of my favourite moments in the entire film, second only to Thor's entrance in the final battle and Banner's helpful little "oh you guys are screwed now!" cause they were. They so were. The special effects as always were good, though the CGI children of Thanos villains did feel a little video game-esque at times, but I could see past it. For the most part, I was fully convinced by the film's diegesis and I forgot I was watching a movie more than once. The soundtrack, also, was great. Amazing. Loved it. Thank you Alan Silvestri. Okay, now that all that is out of the way...
MARVEL, WHAT THE ACTUAL- you killed off literally HALF OF YOUR ENTIRE CAST IN LIKE A FIVE MINUTE LONG DEPRESSING DEATH SCENE AND I HAVE TO WATCH THAT WITH MY OWN EYES? I feel BETRAYED. How could you do this to me, on this, the day of my daughter's wedding? Why did Loki have to die that early? No seriously- he's possibly the MCU's most adored character by the fan base, trust me, I know - I don't believe for a second that he's dead, I'm just bummed I didn't get to see him that much in the movie. Also, Gamora? Dead? As if. Peter Parker? Please. Black Panther? What a joke. That's like closing a full gold mine, literally. It's so painfully obvious that all these characters will be back that it feels like just a cheap tactic to make audiences cry and freak out online for a year until the sequel is released. Literally, they killed off so many characters in such a short amount of time, for no other reason than to make everybody pissed really fast. I am glad that both Tony and Steve are still alive; I was certain that at least one of them would die in Infinity War, but thankfully (despite some very, very close calls), they're still kicking. In fact, all of the original cast, assuming Hawkeye still exists of course, is still alive. Well, it's not over yet, lol.
That being said, the characters were so well done in this film. It just feels so obviously like it isn't over, and that's exactly it; Infinity War was going to be in two parts. So, now we have to wait. Am I prepared to do that? No. Will I? Of course. I've been invested in the MCU since 2011 and like hell I'm dropping this fandom now. But man.... man I have never hated a big crusty grape more than I do right now. Boy. That was a rollercoaster of a movie. I really did enjoy it despite all my complaining. I'll definitely have to see it again though, with how much was going on. It's a lot to take in. On the right side, hey, I didn't cry! Yay!
Warnings for Avengers: Infinity War: death, more death, lots and lots of death, pain, some hard-to-watch scenes, etc
I loved the opening!!! Dies Irae? AMAZING! But the text scrolling up looked pretty terrible, I'll admit. I loved the music, though, and the wide shots of the car were awesome. It did an amazing job of establishing what I was supposed to feel for the rest of the movie.
Jack Nicholson was pretty creepy before he even went crazy. He just has a creepy face- and keeps eyebrows. You can hear him smile when he talks, but in the worst way. The little kid is already creepy too. Why that weird Tony thing. Just why? Strange little Oracle child. Strange.
There's a special kind of silence to Kubrick films; there's scenes where there aren't any music, and then there's some with no ambient sound at all besides voices. It makes it extra unsettling and creepy. There's also a strange hesitation between each line that throws the viewer off. Kubrick is just really good at making you freak out over tiny things just because of all the subtle things you're not used to and the build-up. He makes so many deliberate choices to hold out a shot just that little bit too long, throwing off the flow and messing with your head. It's genius. Also, I knew there's one infamous tracking shot, but I noticed so many other good ones all over the place! I loved the sets; I love how the characters wore dim colours while all the sets were almost ridiculously vibrant with all the primary colours.
So, I basically got what I expected; I understood a LOT of references I never got before, I was creeped out but didn't lose any sleep, and I felt immensely satisfied that I finally got to see a serious cult classic! So, yay! Productive day!
Warnings for The Shining: It's not that scary, but let's just say it's rated R for a reason
P.S.: The ending??? What???
Wow! WOW! What an amazing, happy, fun movie! I love those angry teens so much! I seriously had so much fun rooting for these characters in the theatre, and I wasn't even supposed to be in that theatre! I was supposed to be seeing Love, Simon but there was a mix-up - and boy am I glad there was! This is one of my favourite movies so far this year.
I'm a big nut for pop culture, and I'm especially immersed in the culture surrounding the love of video games and general nerd things- but there were tons of cult references even I didn't notice. The script was incredible, the plot was enthralling, the characters hilarious, (somewhat) diverse, and relatable, and a the references amazing and exciting. The use of music was great too, I can't stop listening to the soundtrack now; especially all the wicked 80s tracks. I'm losing my mind. I also loved the little message tied in there about remembering how important real life is, and not to enjoy video games so much that you forget about the lie you really have. It feels relevant.
I do have one complaint. Although I adored this movie to pieces, the two main characters were Very Straight And White, while the other side characters were the only POC. It felt a little bland, though I still did love all the actors. I wouldn't say it bothered me, but I found it just a little disappointing/awkward.
I thought the graphics and animation were perfect. They were just enough to make you feel like it was real, but cartoon enough to remind you that it's a video game; and it looked like how I would imagine video games would seem in 30 years. I was very thoroughly convinced by this film, and though it was the classic (straight white) hero's journey and all, I still really enjoyed watching it.
As a last note, the Shining sequence is what finally broke me and convinced me that I reaaaallly should see The Shining. I've since seen it and let me tel you, it's hilarious to watch Ready Player One before seeing The actual Shining. I recommend it, tbh. Give it a go.
Warnings for Ready Player One: you'll probably scream at least once, not because it's scary, but because you'll get so excited about some random reference you'll die. I know I did.
P.S.: Art3mis? My new wife.
I went into this film with no expectations, and on top of that, I’ve never actually seen a Wes Anderson movie before this, so I was absolutely neutral in seeing this. That being said, while there was nothing bad about this movie, it wasn’t exceptional. It was just a good movie; the script was well written and the humour well timed.
One thing I didn’t like much was that show dog who did tricks. She was like one of the only female main characters and she didn’t really have any need to be in the story except to be Chief’s love interest, which was disappointing. I was also surprised by how small of a part Bill Murray had; he’s a pretty big actor and he barely had any lines, though I still liked his character a lot. All the dogs were endearing, and it broke my heart (as it should) to see all those dogs be mistreated. I went home and hugged my dog Stormy for, like, twenty minutes.
I also liked the one human exchange student character, although her crush on Akira was dumb and unnecessary. She was stronger before she was romantically involved with him. Why can’t they just not have forced romance in it?
I liked the music a lot, also. I listened to it a lot over the next few days after seeing it; it fit very well and it was super aesthetically pleasing. I was surprised (spoiler) but not disappointed by the happy ending. I liked this movie a lot! Just not the best ever. I was whatever.
Warnings for Isle of Dogs: some cartoon violence, animal death/violence, murder, forced hetero romance, etc.
For a long time, I've heard tons and tons of references to this movie. Now I know why.
First, I thought the beginning was very clever; by opening with a wedding, they expressed very early on the importance of family and established who was who (although I had to ask a lot of questions to figure out who died when and who just got shot? Oh the don? Is he dead now?), especially Michael, as the outsider of the family but young and bright-eyed; a normal human being, a war hero even. I also adored the baptism scene at the end and the symbolism of the baby being baptised and cleansed of original sin, and Michael killing off all his enemies and starting fresh as the new don. That was amazingly well done and intense and satisfying, especially when the sister's awful husband was killed off. That was satisfying.
I cannot, however, forgive the part with the horse. That will scar me forever. Harm to animals in stories just kills me. As a general rule, excessive (or overly realistic) gore in film is pretty much a big turn off for me, and this movie had a lot of blood. At first, I didn't like The Godfather because of this, but as it went on, I was okay with it because the rest of the movie was so good. I love in the end how Michael ended up exactly how Vito didn't want him to be; head of the family, a liar, and all that (even lying to his wife, dang). It was so thorough and I was lucky to get to watch it with people who knew the movie really well and could explain who all the people were, so I understood exactly what was going on the whole time.
This is a genre movie, but surprisingly, it is amazingly well done. The way they placed oranges around Vito a lot was a cool way to make his character special (he had oranges at the wedding, one was there when he died, and he was buying oranges when he was shot). I also loved the change of seasons and how, although it took place over several years, it started and ended in the same season as they changed slowly over the course of the movie. It was very cyclical, and that's always fun. I was pleasantly surprised by how thorough and satisfying this film was, and I plan on watching the sequel soon! Oh also, the cat at the beginning was my favourite character. No question.
Warnings for The Godfather: lots and lots of gore, some pretty bad domestic violence, a little sexual content; basically, it's rated R for a reason.
This movie was so hard to watch. It was painfully cringey, and literally like every line just was painful with all the second hand embarrassment. It's supposedly a dark comedy of some kind but I didn't really laugh once. I wouldn't say this was a bad movie, but I definitely did not enjoy it and it's not the type of movie most would watch for fun or for a laugh.
Rupert was the epitome of a gross, pathetic character. I literally hated him so much, and it's very hard for me to get into a movie when I don't like the main character; or any of the other characters. Like, I get why it's a cool movie and all, but it was physically painful for me to watch it for all the second hand embarrassment and I just really didn't enjoy it. The script was just awful; like, it was well-written and great in making me feel awful inside, but I hated how it made me feel. It was painful.
The only part I actually found a little funny was the call during the kidnapping with the cards and how they messed up. The whole movie leading up to that part and the rest after was all just the worst. I didn't like the opening scene either; like it set up the story, but it felt clunky, and cold, and it wasn't a very good hook. It didn't make me want to watch the rest of the movie, it made me want to turn it off and go watch Thor: Ragnarok instead. The scene of Rupert telling his monologue in front of the picture of a laughing audience with an ongoing laugh track behind it as the camera slowly zoomed out was also pretty good (of kinda freaky), and really finalised the idea that Rupert is crazy. I also have to give them props for casting. Everyone looked exactly like they should; Jerry looked like a big shot talk show host, Rupert looked like a creepy low-life, and Masha really looked like a creepy woman and she did a great job doing that role and making the viewer feel creeped out. So basically, The King of Comedy did a really really good job at making the audience uncomfortable, and yeah, it did its job, but I hated it. It was a very well-made movie. But I hated pretty much every second of watching it. So... good job I guess?
Warnings for The King of Comedy: kidnapping, guns, brutal second-hand embarrassment